Life Changes

Happy Wednesday, I hope every one's week has been good so far. It is pretty much Thursday for me because I am off on Friday and Saturday. I cannot wait for this weekend, it is going to be a busy one. Right now I am going to post a little diary type entry. Later I'll post pictures and random fun things, if this computer cooperates that is.

You know how in the course of your life you go through changes as you grow and mature? Well, I am currently going through one of those changes, and it happens to be a rather difficult one this time. A lot has happened for me in the last two years. My daughter has completely changed my life around and I am still trying to figure it out and get back on track.

After Audrey was born it was really hard for me to remember to care for my husband and myself. Everything was about Audrey. I hardly did any housework, I hardly cooked, and I hardly paid any attention to Brandon. I have come a long way in the last few months, especially with the housewife chores. I feel as if I have to choose between all of these things though. It is either Audrey, Brandon, or housework. It can never be all three. Considering I work 30+ hours a week it is even harder to split my time. This has been one of my major personality changes recently.

I have been doing really well on keeping up the house and laundry, as well as cooking dinner every night for Brandon and Audrey. I am proud of myself for these accomplishments, and I should be. If you knew me as a kid you knew I could care less about cleanliness. I was not a mold, mud, yucky type of dirty. Just a clutter type dirty. There were things everywhere in my room, I never put anything back where it came from. So to see me now, you would be surprised.

All of that really is not my biggest change though. My biggest changes are more personal. I find myself to be more reserved than ever. Really I have become quite the prude, I am not sure if I like it or not. My whole personal style has changed too, or it is currently in the process of changing. I feel more grown-up, more mom-ish, more ladylike; I want the way I dress to reflect the way I feel. I really want to trade the Daisy Duke's for something much more stylish and appropriate! :)

I am really excited about going through another personal change, but it is also very scary. I do not like being unsure about myself. I like to know exactly who I am and what I like. Maybe I am being to much of a perfectionist and trying to completely label myself, when really I am one of those who cannot be labeled? See how confused I am? I know I will figure it out soon, and for now I am going to enjoy my transition from who I am - into who I really want to be. 

Most important to me is my marriage. I hope my husband can adapt to my growth and change. To be on the safe side I should probably ask him what he loves most about me so I do not change those things! I do not want him to look at me one day and say, "who the hell are you?!" How horrible would that be?

Anyway, here's to growth, change, and maturity (is it too soon to call it a mid-life crisis?)!